Cousin Love!

Earl and Papa Bear Visiting the Aran Islands.

Truth

With less than a year before I leave for the Peace Corps, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Truth is fierce and unrelenting, eh? I know I cannot change it, but I can change the way I live with it. Making mistakes, not being loved, and dying inescapable experiences of being human; is my fear. By facing those fears, I have a chance to step beyond them. When I am willing to do the best I can with what I know, to be honest with myself and others about who I am and what really matters to me, is when the life I live and the love I receive will truly be my own.

T minus ten months and counting...

E.E. Cummings

I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling. I fear no fate. For you are my fate, my sweet. I want no world. For beautiful you are my world, my true. And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing and it's you here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

Free

The other night it was pouring rain and I sat in Starbucks, sipped on my pumpkin spice latte and read Robert Rosenberg's "This is Not Civilization." It's a great book that I'm able to relate to after my Peace Corps service in Kyrgyzstan. I'm able to escape back to the world I love and miss with every turn of a page. I'm surprised by how much Kyrgyz I remember and it makes me happy knowing that I will be leaving for another adventure soon. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As I was listening to my iPod and singing silently to Galileo, I overheard a homeless man get in a fight over a dollar. This was after the homeless man told me that I was, deeper than just the surface and free, or very soon will be. I wonder what that means, exactly. I wonder what that means to the homeless man, who's quality of life is so dependant on the availability of a one dollar bill. It's another dismal day and I have to get back to work. I love these morning moments when it feels like I'm the only one breathing in the world and anything could happen. Maybe today I will be free.